Why Am I So Obsessive?

284h

Okay so if you haven’t guessed already by the tittle of this post it’s time for me to embarrass myself on the internet once again. Yup this must be fun for you to read but not that fun for my self-esteem is it?

So I have a really obsessive personality, like if I like a band/artist and their music my obsession won’t stop at just knowing their name and a little about them like a normal person, no I’m the freak who will try to know every single fucking detail about them, and I don’t think it’s because I’m creepy or wanna stalk them it’s just the fact that I hate not knowing stuff or being left out, so I make up like weird scenarios in my head about meeting someone who might know more about this band/artist then me, I literally work out a hundred ways this person could leave me out of the conversation or not simply think I’m “cool” because I don’t happen to know this artists grandma’s dogs name.
Or if I’m watching a tv show about ice skating I will start to learn stuff about the actual sport in my free time too.
I don’t understand why I get so obsessive but I think it’s to do with my fear of being left behind, or the fear of just simply not knowing enough leading to being called stupid, I know that I shouldn’t care about what other people think but I think this is a war with myself, I keep telling myself if I don’t know this I’m not good enough it’s just me setting ridiculous standards for myself when it really doesn’t matter if I don’t know the first word my favourite artist spoke, because that’s really none of my business, I should just enjoy the music and focus on myself more than stalking other people.
Okay well this went a little farther than I expected, I’ll see you guys soon but for now I gotta go memorize Twenty One Pilots Wikipedia page -H

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