I was weak, so you played God and pulled my strings. A puppet, merely an object with no value whatsoever.
You stood by me not to watch me succeed and reach new heights, you stood by me waiting for me to fail. So you could once again tower over me, making me shrink to less and less untill I was nothing. Exactly what you wanted me to be.
You see I was never one to have faith in myself. I couldn’t stand tall or smile wide and bright. And it didn’t help my already beaten up hopes when you came along and told me that I wasn’t good enough. You didn’t say it, but when I asked you ” Do you think I can make it” you bit your lip, shook your head and walked away.
“Everything is not ment to be” I said. Because I was a robot, following orders, I was no human. You told me that I didn’t believe in love, I was just looking for someone to save me. Push me away from the track I was tied to, the life I was living. I didn’t need morning kisses and goodbye hugs, I needed release. I needed to forget. I needed someone who would save me.
But those were your words, you pushed them into my mouth and then you expected me to say them. But I refused to speak.
Instead I picked up a pen and I wrote the fucking truth. And with every word that landed flawlessly on the paper I felt my heart beating faster. With every line every sentence was a string of emotion, watch that emotion flow from my hand to yours, through your eyes you will see, and in your heart you will feel.
For now I felt alive, I felt the blood run through my veins, I felt the ground beneath my feet and the sky above my head. Here I was somewhere in between, I found my place, it wasn’t the sun or the sea. I didn’t belong with the stars held up in space. I was the one who was falling. A falling star, travelling through time and space. They wished upon me. They looked at me like I was a dream come true.
Maybe I was, maybe I still am. -H