You live a hundred different lives. Each personality impaled into your chest, digging in like daggers thrust upon flesh.
I think back to the days you resembled something normal, when we could just sit at the dinner table, all four of us and we could talk about the neighbours dog, when making conversation wasn’t all that hard and sitting by you didn’t feel like the part of a job.
Now I pick the words I say, when I’m in a room with you I feel like I’m suffocating and the tension only rises from there. Zipped up mouths and every action is calculated, it doesn’t feel like a home anymore it’s more like an army camp.
And each day you come up with something new to fight about, something that shouldn’t matter at all. Accusations are made and fingers are pointed between you and her, I just sit aside not wanting to be caught in the storm you give birth to every night.
Flames dance on the ceiling of our house, the atmosphere always rigid. And I see you eating away at her brain and I wish I could say, but you’re too good at that game. How you twist it around and suddenly you’re the victim in this round.
And we’re not a family anymore, though we might have been long ago. We’re just a group people living under the same roof, simply because we have to.-H
So I figured that every now and then there are going to be things that bother me, things that hurt me in my personal life. And keeping them buried in my body won’t do any good, but to have them sit in my drafts won’t either. That’s pretty much why I came up with this series type thingy called “Things To Get Off My Chest”. Here I’m just going to write about the things that I don’t want to weigh me down. And maybe this is the last time I do this or maybe this is a start to something great, whatever it is, all that I know is that I felt like doing it and so I did it.
All that I can hope is that you guys can find something to relate to, something take away. Even if it’s something small that really doesn’t matter as long as it’s something at all.-H