Loving..

​And you cannot love me, for it is impossible to adore the human embodiment of fear, anxiety and confusion. When that is all that I am. 

Some days I feel detached from my own damn body. Like I am a robot simply doing as told. Drifting with the wind.
I tend to focus on the smaller things in life. At one moment it’s all too bright and I can’t understand whether I even like the light. It stings my eyes, the sun.And when it’s dark, all I see is black. The color of thousands of men and women and children treated wrongly. Stolen rights and discrimination. 
Because I’m complexity. I am the exact definition of turmoil. Distress radiates off of my skin and every hair on my body. How can you not see?
I am a mess. And you seem to be blind.
The very thought of you trying to turn the other cheek from my insecurities winds me up like a child’s toy. It twists my veins into knots I’m afraid will never be undone.

And I ask you why? Why don’t you see me the way I see myself?

You whisper in my ear making my skin spontaneously scream.

You say, “Because I love you. Because this is what loving is like.”-H

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