Suffering and smiling are two things I’ve learned to do side by side. Some days it feels like my intellect is collapsing the power to think for myself as it leans on opinions guarded by somebody else, but is that okay? I, I fail to push away the colorless spots my vision often creates, and my solid solid dreams are starting to loose their solidarity they don’t seem that real to me, anymore. Because I built my today on what will happen tomorrow, every day is like the burning wax under a candle flame, it’s never really here to stay. And I wonder how long till that candle withers away and I have to face the day.
Because someone once said that happiness is overrated but how can that be true when happiness is all that I’ve ever chased,
Continue reading “Suffering And Smiling”
I’m sat in a large bus with windows that scream of dirt and disease, as I stare outside watching headlights blur into the darkness of the night sky. There’s this heaviness in my chest and I feel like I did on my first day of school as I drag my fingernails across my skin and I watch a girl with purple hair that forms a daze of black as it reaches the top of her head,
Continue reading “Lovers In The Dark”
Stilettos and broken dreams she’s got heartbreak inked inside the palms of her hands. She never wears her heart on her sleeve and she’s afraid of the dark, or so it seems. And she’s got really bad anxiety, it makes her hate the people around her and it makes her voice shrink till the words she speaks turn into inaudible sounds that fade into the backgrounds of clubs and parties she never goes to. And she says she hates sleep but maybe she’s just scared of what she might see in her dreams. Bitter is what she describes reality as and so she likes fantasy, she likes to give birth to writing that helps her survive feeling empty on the inside. And no she doesn’t have a way with the boys, unless choking on food and making disturbing jokes counts as flirting. The thought of the world ending and us dying is what keeps her up at night sometimes but so does too much coffee. She’s got low self-esteem and never thinks she’s pretty, she doesn’t like the way her hair falls in her eyes and she doesn’t like the sunlight in the mornings. She’s got her goals painted in the back of her brain and for them she works everyday. And so she hopes to achieve something great, but doesn’t really mind fading away without much of a trace. -H
Back in 2009 it was just you and I.
I was your little sis and we lived between houses and continents.
Always changing, nothing would stay the same.
Airplane rides and we would see new cities through each others eyes.
We stayed under the same roof, the same sky.
Continue reading “The House Feels Empty|A Poem”
Marks fill up flesh like ink dropped from a pen. I walk down streets of black and white as the moon hangs in the sky, I pity those who lay in bed, eyes glued shut as sleep overtakes them. They are missing out on so much. The nights are a crashing mixture of everything missing during the daytime. You don’t see smiles forged on faces that shine in such perfection that ceases to exist in this world.
Continue reading “This World Today.”
I’ve never really been good at excepting change, whether it’s with something as small as buying clothes in colors apart from black or weather it’s something as large as moving house. Change doesn’t just scare me like it does most people, change is like that step from warmth straight into the winter snow. And there’s this feeling the unfamiliarity of a situation brings that I find hard to digest.
Continue reading “I Can’t Accept Change”
Here is a list of 17 things I’ve managed to learn in 2017:
1) It’s okay if your writing isn’t perfect everytime you write something, sometimes just being able to fill up an empty page can be enough.
Continue reading “17 Things I Learned in 2017”