The House Feels Empty|A Poem

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Back in 2009 it was just you and I.
I was your little sis and we lived between houses and continents.
Always changing, nothing would stay the same.
Airplane rides and we would see new cities through each others eyes.

We stayed under the same roof, the same sky.

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Maybe In Ten Years|A Poem

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I’ll be sipping coffee on my own,
The hours will pass by.
I’ll stare at the sky and then.
The radiant glow of street lights reflecting from the charcoal grey roads.

I’ll wave at my shadow and surly it’ll wave back at me.
With lanky arms and legs stretched too far.
I’ll sit on the rooftop of my tiny house.
Make up conversations in my head.
Ones I’ll probably never have.

Maybe I’ll even light up a cigarette, or two.
Try to smoke my thoughts away.
I’ll pull out my phone and write poetry.
And it won’t be great, it might even be awful.
But I’ll tell myself to keep going.

And I’ll think of my mother, how much I love her.
My little brother, how I practically raised him.
I’ll think about time and death but most importantly, life.
I’ll be able to look back, take a peak into the past,
Without flinching or crying.

I’ll be able to think of him without wanting the world to end.
Then I will smile at myself.
For being so strong.
Breathing when it felt like my lungs were on fire.
Laughing with tears of agony gliding down my cheeks.
I’ll finally be proud of me.-H

Warmth Wrapped In November Chills |A Poem

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He was warmth.
Cloud soft skin as my fingers traced the plains of his chest.
His hair, a calamitous mess of hazel curls.
Cyclones drift in my stomach, his touch pouring them life.

He was the snow in July.
A complex combination of surprise.
His words could make gardens grow out of my chest.
Water the lilies and tulips and God knows how many others in my mind.

The ones he helped plant in the darkest of times.
And he would hold me tight.
Draw circles and keep drawing them on my thighs.
To stop my thoughts from flowing the wrong side.

He was the heat when I knew nothing but the cold.
Freezing palms, he would set fire to my problems.
As my tears became kerosene fueling the flames within.

He was the winter when it became too warm to breathe.
Clearing the claustrophobic feeling in my chest.
Ice melting its way inside to cure fevers resting on my body.
Because he was warmth wrapped in November Chills.

He was every season in itself.
Every feeling excelled. And emotions so deeply rooted in one.
He was fire and ice.
Quite intriguingly combined.-H

And I Am..|A Poem

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And I have been known to make queasy hearts quake.
To make saddened eyes grow wide for a moments sake.
Before they go back to being deprived.
Of light in the darkest days.

For I have been a magnet.
Pulling with force, tugging at the edges of disaster.
Arms open wide, to catch those who are built in fright.
Only to drop them, watch them fall from wavering heights.

I am drawn to hearts caved in.
Hollow and thin.
Purpose searching souls.
Those who collapse with the sound of thunder.
Before it even strikes.

And I envy the happy.
Because I am just as stained as those around me.
So we grab each other to help elevate the ache.
Grab each other to make the loneliness go away.-H

A Poem For Mental Health Day

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I see you, tangled up in a ball on the kitchen floor.
And I’ll stand by, because I’ve been there before.
When your sobs overtake the sounds in your surroundings.
When your body does not feel like it belongs to you.

When you feel like giving away,
The very skin in which you stay.
When your arms tremble
Your skin goes numb,
You thoughts start to scare you.

I’ll hold your hand
I’ll brush the strands of hair out of your eyes,
I’ll hold your chin up,
Using the bottom of my thumb
And I’ll tell you to breathe.

In
Out
In
Out

And if that stops working,
I swear I’ll throw my arms around your shoulders,
Untill you can hear my heart beating in my chest.

Because I will go to the ends of the Earth,
And into the universe.
To make you feel,
Okay.-H

Mental health day is not a day in which we celebrate, it is a day to bring awareness to those in pain, those who can’t understand their own brain. And it’s each and every one of ours job to help each other when we’re down. Be there for each other and help others when they’re hurting. You might not know it but a simple hug can mean the world at times.-H

Do You Wonder?|A Poem

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Two minds, shadows sat far apart.
While our hearts immerse into one another.
Our bodies become fractures of,
Unfulfilled desires.

As thoughts linger in the air,
And skies paint themselves up,
Blues and whites and greys,
Fascination strikes us deep.

The weight of your love sits heavily upon my diaphragm.
Lungs contract and expand,
The human anatomy, space and time.
Are questions that send me into a whirlwind of chaos.

An ultimate existential crisis,
A conjoined web of thought processes,
Binding and falling into one.
Before my brain is too much of a mess to handle.

And so I lay on the ground,
Face down.
Wonder who we are and why we are here?

Do you wonder? Do you think? I really hope you don’t. -H

Auguries |A Poem

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And we will bleed into the city.
Shattering hearts
Our souls will start to disintegrate.

Under heavy skies,
Clothes dripping wet in the rain.
Your eyes holding storms inside.

Bringing the fantasies we concoct to life.
An exchange of words, not much to say.
Tounges clashing as fingernails are dragged across skin.

A blank canvas is filled with Inc.
Memories painted across walls in black and white.
They show signs of you and I.-H